So, I woke up this morning in not the brightest and shiniest of moods.
I am angry. Angry about life and circumstances.
I’m angry with God.
Are you shocked I said that? It’s okay to be angry with God. He can handle it. And He’s my best friend so when I’m angry and discontent, I am for sure going to let Him know about it. Like I said…
He can handle it.
I love Him so much. Even when I’m mad and discouraged. And especially when I’m sad, which is really hard to admit.
Because I prefer to be happy, happy, joy-filled Chelle full of butterflies, unicorns and rainbows.
But. that’s not me today. And that’s okay. Because some days are…
And some days are awful, and we don’t know why. I have a lot of reasons for mine. I have a lot of built-up junk that doesn’t seem to be getting any better or easier. And right now, I’m nearing the point of, not giving up, but…
Maybe this is what’s this been about all along. Surrender.
Have I been holding on to control like I shouldn’t? Like I don’t have in the first place? Probably. I do like to be in control. Even though I know I don’t have any. But it is a nice feeling. At least for me. To know that I know what’s going to happen next. But with everything that’s going on in my life right now, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or in the next five minutes. And there’s a lesson in that.
A friend of mine from social media messaged me today. And all she said was, “Praying.” Out of nowhere she messaged me. After I’d been calling out to my Father all morning. After I’d battled the spirits and principalities we fight against in scripture like Jesus in the wilderness. After I hadn’t told a soul but God, she messaged me.
God heard me.
And God hears you too. Everything. The pleas, the cries, the worship. The good, the bad and the ugly. He hears you.
How do I know?
Because He heard me.