Epiphanies. Hesitations. And Writing Procrastination.

I just had to tell you about this epiphany I’ve had.

Writing is my greatest source of hindrance, hesitation and prolonged procrastination.

The thing I put off.

I’ve been wondering why that is, especially lately, because I’m in a fantastic season where I have absolutely no excuse now not to be writing.

Yet I find myself procrastinating.

I find myself in a place of taking my writing seriously but not feeling that “life” finds it as important.

Let me explain.

For years and years and years, I had to set my writing aside to take care of my daughter, and that’s okay. Because she trumps everything.

But when I set my writing aside, I, in fact, unintentionally set me aside.

I was no longer myself. I was no longer who God created me to be. In fact, I realized that if I’m not doing what I was put on this earth to do, I am not being the most authentic me that I can be. I’m not being the best mom, the best wife, the best daughter, the best caregiver that I can be because I’m not living the life I was intended to live.

I can be the mom of a child within a season of high support needs. I can be a wife. I can be a daughter. I can do all kinds of things plus write too.

What I want you to notice there is that, in my entire life, I always was a writer. I always wanted to be a writer. I always dreamed of being a writer, but in my list of things that I do, I always put writing last.

Like I couldn’t own it. Like it was an afterthought. Like it wasn’t as important and my real job or those real things l do.

And to be honest, I blame low self esteem and a whole heap of people who helped make it even lower.

 Who made me feel as though my writing dreams were insignificant.

And I know you may be saying, “It doesn’t matter what people say. You be YOU.”

Thank you for that. You are my people.

But for a sensitive creative spirit like me and so many others, our dreams get squashed faster than a tomato tossed on the sidewalk.

But with maturity, a dose of self-induced confidence and a whole lot of God, that season has changed.

 Because now I put my writing first. It is the first thing I think about now. (Besides my family, my dear to-me fur babies and my plants, of course!) In the scheme of things, my writing comes first. My passion comes first. What I was created to do in the first place comes first. It has priority now. So when someone asks me what I do now, I say proudly and with relief, “I am a writer!”

Are you holding back on your passion? On what you were put here to do? Or are you living life in full throttle? 

I’d love to know. 💖

~ Dawn